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    « Rain | Main | Rain (Part Two) »

    November 14, 2007

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    Pamela Zagar

    James, you ask the question; "WHere are the parents in America?" the answer is that the parents are in Victoria,s Secret store with their children. The answer, the parents are with their children but they do not invite their God along.

    scott

    James, I do agree with you. I do not have any children but I do see alot of pre-teens with their older friend(parent)looking at and even purchasing items of TABOO when I was growing up. This is why we have so many problems with the realtionship between children and parents. Parent the children do not be their friends. Parents have to ltake control of kids with some good old discipline and a, I'm going to say it a 'SPANKING", without the threat of beign labeled a child abuser. Thanks again for your blog.

    dana michelle

    They probably just stopped by for a little impromptu shopping after their trip to Planned Parenthood to get their little darling on the pill because "you know she's going to do it anyway" and so "she might as well have some sexy undies if she's going to do it."

    I suppose this makes moms feel like they are a "cool" parent and so in touch with their daughter. How sad.

    James, I am 48 and married and still would rather be set on FIRE than go into Victoria's Secret with MY mother ;)

    Amy P.

    The answer, the parents are with their children but they do not invite their God along.

    Sometimes they do, but often God is replaced by an androgynous spiritual being who's more concerned about self esteem than the salvation of souls.

    I agree with everyone here.

    I do not buy - for even a fraction of a second - the argument that it's better to be friends with our kids and to let them do things (sex, drugs, inappropriate clothing) because they're "just going to do it anyway."

    My parents put the fear of God and themselves in me from an early age. I respected them...even when they weren't around to watch my every move. Heck, when I was 19 and living at college, I felt TREMENDOUSLY guilty for going to Madison for the night...to chaperone some 17-year-old friends from high school who were there for an art competition/forensics tournament. Our "wild night" in Madison included dinner at Noodles and swimming in the hotel's pool. Period. But I knew my mother wouldn't approve and I felt guilty.

    Or my nephew, who was the victim of an attempted mugging about a year ago. When my sister-in-law asked if he was afraid, he said he was less afraid of his attackers than his mother.

    THAT'S what parenting is supposed to be about. Loving your children with discipline, a demand for respect, and the ability to say "No"...

    dad29

    So they collude in "objectifying" their daughters.

    Nothing like an inferiority complex in a mom, eh?

    Timmy D

    I think the problem these days is that parents do everything for their kids. We are so afraid of allowing our kids to make mistakes that we make sure that they are "safe" at all times. When I was a kid if I had football, baseball or basketball practice we rode our bikes or walked and yes soemtimes we even had to come home when it was dark, but we made it. Todays parent does everything for the child so instead of leaving your kids at home to study , read or just watch a Packer game on their own we have to bring them with us so we know their every step. I did fear my parents reprisals on doing things that I knew they would have disapproved of, but they had instilled a sense of right and wrong by allowing me to make mistakes and then pay the consequenses (sp?). This way I learned valuable lessions from my parents and hopefully will be able to pass them on to my boys, that way they wont have the attitude of a six year old (like this country does) of places like Victoria Secret. I do not think parents should be their kid's friends, they should be adults and parent. But that also means being able to allow your children to be children and learn from their mistakes and their triumphs.

    PS ..the pill, planned parenthood, how cynical are you?

    Radish

    Cynical? Parents taking their teenage daughters to get The Pill has been commonplace since I was in HS 20 years ago. We're on the second generation of teenage Pill users...figuratively speaking, at least.

    I offer an additional explanation for the mothers buying their young daughters sexy clothes--they're unhappy with their life and are living vicariously through their children. They didn't have a boyfriend at that age, or they don't currently have a husband or boyfriend, or they've got some body image problems (then or now), or maybe they never quite grew up themselves and think it would be cool to have a mom with no standards--and they can relive it all differently through the kid.

    dana michelle

    Timmy D:

    I am not "cynical" about the situation. What I am is disgusted.

    Whatever happened to parents dishing out a good, healthy dose of "over my (or your)dead body"

    I think it's pathetic that parents aren't even willing to try being a parent anymore. It's so much easier to just be a buddy.

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