Every year, twice a year, our family escapes to Jamaica. That’s how we roll. Some couples spend their money on marriage counseling . . . my wife and I go to Jamaica, alone. And because we like it so much, we also take the family down for spring break.
Same beach, different vibe. Ya mon.
My baby girl is getting older. She is my civilizing force. I remember what it was like to be a teenage boy and I didn’t have tools like, sexting, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, the Internet! It’s frightening out there. When I look at my girl and consider the spirit of this age, I shudder.
But this is Negril and she is a child. I still have time, I think, as we walk down the same beach that her mother and I enjoyed a few months earlier, holding hands and picking up shells.
Same beach, different vibe. Ya mon.
That’s when my girl noticed the huge trampoline floating a hundred yards off shore! She wanted some of that action. No problem! For most of the week, my children, their friends and tons of tourists and locals enjoyed that trampoline -- bouncing, diving, tanning… paradise!
It doesn’t matter the country, the ethnicity, or the culture, when adolescent teenage boys hang out in packs, inevitably your parental radar kicks in.
Call it the Lord of the Flies syndrome.
Negril’s beach is public (all beaches in Jamaica are public), and occasionally large packs of fun loving teenage boys bum rushed the trampoline driving everybody else off.
King of the Hill
On the last day of our vacation my daughter walked up to me and said, “Daddy? I want to play on the trampoline.” I looked up. Rats, the king was on his hill.
Sigh.
My wife chimed in, “Honey, your daughter wants to play on the trampoline.” Damn! Mommy pressure. I could hear my late friend Uncle Ed in my head, “Harris, man up!”
So as I wade into the turquoise deep with my girl floating beside me, I stare at the king. As my baby swims toward the trampoline, I stare at the king. As she climbs the ladder to board the float, the king moves to block her. The other kings in waiting have given way; the king of the hill has a decision to make.
My daughter looked back at me and said, “Daddy?”
That’s the snap shot, the picture in my mind that I will never forget. In that moment, I knew that it was only going to get more difficult from here on . . . that in just a few short years, she’s not going to look back for me. That one day, some fool on bended knee is going to come talking some jibberish and “yadda, yadda, yadda…” Oh, man!!!
Sigh.
But, not today! I can still see her, one foot in the turquoise surf hanging on to the ladder, her way blocked by the king of the hill. I looked at him and simply said, “excuse me?”
He moved aside.
As my little girl bounced around on the trampoline she was all smiles! In a few short years, she will not remember my heroic actions and the reigning king of the hill won’t be trying to keep her off that trampoline, will he? He’ll say, “Ya mon, may I offer you my hand?”
And, I’ll be right there to cut it off!
Sir, You would be a great author. Have you written any books? Have you thought of writing books? Your ideas are so fresh and the way you present them are amazing. I have only been a member of this blog for a day, but I can tell I'll be here for a long time. Keep up the excellent work!
Posted by: Dan Gehring | April 25, 2009 at 05:43 PM
Dan,
Welcome to the National Conversation. No, I am not an author... yet. It's a bone of contention with a bunch of people, most of all my wife, who gave me that look when she saw your comments.
Thanks for that.
I really have no excuse. It just needs to get done. Thanks for reminding me and for your kind compliment,
and welcome aboard.
Oh yeah, and fasten your seatbelt! It's a rough ride but remember, in the National Conversation... conversation is the spice of life!
Posted by: James T. | April 25, 2009 at 06:30 PM
James. Enjoy these moments, they're precious. And, do not be afraid of the time they will leave... and that time does come.
Little story: The day my son left home the first time... heading to U.S. Army. He was 18 and chose to sign up in his last year of high school, and didn't let us, his parents know until the recruiter showed up in our home one night. Anyway, the day came to leave, Mark was no where to be found. Several calls from the recruiter, and finally we told him we'd bring Mark down to the hotel. Mark came home & announced he didn't want to leave. Me, heartbroken already said, too late you've signed up and must go. We took him to dinner and then to the hotel. Before leaving I asked did he have his favorite baseball cap. No, so like a good mom & traveled across town & back to deliver the cap. His roomie likely thought I was crazy knocking on the patio door since the I couldn't enter via lobby door (it was locked) Mark was grateful. When I got home I wrote a loving letter to my son... and waited for a delivery address to send it. When he was able to call home, he said he cried when he read my letter. And, he has it still.
We are very lucky parents. We raised 4 beautiful children, who are happy and successful adults. All still rather close, and come home regularly. And bring the grandchildren.
Posted by: Joyce | April 25, 2009 at 09:34 PM
Beautiful daughter. I have two of them and DO NOT look forward to them growing up either. My 7 yr old has already has some "boyfriend" break up with her and spent a few good hours crying about it. 7!!!...I took it as an opportunity to explain self worth and MARRIAGE and what them means. Crazy!
BOOTY PRIEST! LOL
Posted by: Amanda Kennerly | April 25, 2009 at 10:47 PM
'Man it up' you will my friend. Uncle Ed would be proud. Oh, and Mrs. Harris, you are very lucky lady.
Posted by: Diana | April 26, 2009 at 08:29 AM
James
I have 2 little girls, 4 and 1.
I have been taking every opportunity to do fun things around the area with them and make the most of the time we have.
Each day, it seems that I'm all too aware of how fast time is flying by. I can feel the Earth spinning somedays.
As the media, tv, movie, and money making machines look to steal every ounce of childhood away our kids(that is except for whoever makes Barbies and Doras!)we do everything we can to encourage doing things that you can only do when you are little.
We get to do them too, all over again. Any chance to act crazy, paint the face, fly kites etc, we are there.
Because we have this "venue" we even take the opportunity to 'indoctrinate' our babysitters with ideas like study hard, don't waste time dating, etc etc.
And yes, that includes asking for other kids to step aside, I mean, telling kids to step aside, so my kids can use the trampoline!
Posted by: bartman | April 26, 2009 at 08:33 AM
I have one daughter, 5 years old... and already looks like she belongs in 2nd or 3rd grade. I worry so much about the world she grows up in, yet, is this world really any worse? The devil has been here since day 1. Yeah, he has some new, better tools to use now, that he didn't have before... but the texting, the emails, etc... back in my day it was the constant little 'folded' notes passed in class, or the 'sneaking' to that one spot on the playground that is somewhat private... The more it changes, the more it stays the same.
What gives me comfort, is that, while the tactics have changed, the means of communication have changed, the solution never has: a strong faith in the Lord. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Prov. 22:6
Posted by: thebigshmoog | April 26, 2009 at 03:12 PM
Nice photo! Beauty and the beast?
Posted by: James Pawlak | April 27, 2009 at 07:09 AM
Wonderful story Jt; and let me say it again get off you laurels and put those skills into action. I will just reiterate Dan G's adoration: You are an awesome writer.
I have a daughter, 7 and I am so anxious about those inevitable years. This past weekend my kids went to the Florida Keys with their unlce and his fiance. I haven't heard the details yet but I am sure it will be exciting and will serve to rekindle my concerns about those years to come. I wish we were given a guide book to parenting, especially in those teenage years.
To those of you who have raised children, hats off to you. I am always looking for advice on dealing with that.
Btw Jt, beautiful girl.
Posted by: BlackinMiami | April 27, 2009 at 12:38 PM
Cool story!
Reminds me of my dad, always polishing his rifle when a boy'd come around. Lovingly stroking with a cloth towel, relaxed, looking down the sight now and then, never said a word, didn't have to.
Posted by: Maddie - Saukville | April 27, 2009 at 06:08 PM